Ms. P, a Mother to many.
To Ms. P, caring for the next generation means more than caring for her own children. To her, parenthood has meant finding the beginnings of her own healing in becoming a mother to many.
Known as Aunty P to the girls in her community; she has become the safe space she longed for when she was a girl, and many have already taken comfort in her care.
The only one of our beneficiaries who didn’t come to us through an agency, Ms. P. crossed our path through her friend, Ms. MN. She witnessed the release Ms. MN. felt through talking, and starting the process of working towards her dreams with the Empathologist Foundation. Ms. P. has a dream of her own, to open a nursery that would also support kids and girls around her who are in vulnerable situations, and who need a place to go.
“I would have wanted someone to take me in, comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay. Just a place where I can say I belong.”
The roots of her dream are deep in her past, and in her pain; in her own wish that someone could have been there for her, and in her instinct to heal through protecting others.
When asked what she would have needed most as a girl, she said:
“I would have wanted someone to take me in, comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay. Just a place where I can say I belong.”
Ms. P. has suffered through more than most can imagine, and seen the darkest sides of mankind. Through sheer force of will she was able to escape and begin a new life, but the work in healing has only just begun. Her instinct to protect is strong, and as soon as she was in a safe enough place, she did her Family Matters certification to equip herself to begin supporting girls around her.
“I decided to do the Family Matters certificate, because I wanted to protect girls.”
These days, Ms. P. is to be found in the home she has built with her husband, and their daughter. It is a life that once felt impossible.
When we began our conversations with her, she was already working with a group of 28 girls in her community, a group which just keeps growing. She gives them a space where they are safe and heard, where they can work together, seek advice, learn new skills, and talk about what troubles them. Ms. P. feels there is nothing more important than keeping them safe from what she has experienced.
Through cooking and baking days, creating posters to protest against Gender Based Violence, and facilitating needed conversations, we are helping Ms. P. to reshape what her girls see as possible for themselves, while showing them the strength that can be found in each other.
“The Empathologist gave us a voucher for making muffins. The girls enjoyed it; the one girl, she was happy all day. For many, it was their first time baking together¨
As she guides them towards a safer path, and offers them comfort, she is also able to find comfort in them.
“Whenever I’m with them, I feel motivated. I feel like I’m in a different world.”
“Whenever I’m with them, I feel motivated. I feel like I’m in a different world.”
The path ahead is not straightforward for Ms. P, who experiences the complex effects of trauma every day. But she is determined to let it fuel her and her dream. She wants to grow the space for her girls into something more, into a nursery and kids’ club that will allow her to care for kids of all ages; making sure they are off the streets, away from danger, and staying in school.
Just like she would have done for her younger self, if given the chance:
“I would just take her back to school. I’d take care of counselling and then take her back to school. I didn’t know what counselling was until not so long ago, I didn’t even know what a social worker was”
Now she is on a mission to make sure that the girls around her know their resources, know where to go for help, and know the importance of their education for a safe and independent life.
“You know, what I wish for them is for them not to be in a hurry to date. It’s important that we talk about pregnancy, and safe sex. I talk to them about how to avoid teenage pregnancy, teach them about GBV, and help them with homework and assignments.”
What’s next for Ms. P?
With your help, she could reach many more kids in her community, and grow her space to change more and more lives. She is able to do so much with simple ingredients, and there is no doubt that we are going to watch her change the world around her.
Ms. P’s story is part of a larger conversation, one that we will endeavour to unpack in upcoming articles with the astounding insights from many of our beneficiaries who have seen and experienced cruelty that is hard to comprehend.
And while it can feel overwhelming, the weight of what is yet to be faced, Ms. P. is a reminder that it’s invaluable to do what you can to change what is around you, there is no better place to start.
This interview with Ms. M.N was conducted by Jose and written by Moss, capturing the depth of her journey and resilience. We are grateful to have Coach Frances Fuchs from Khethani Women Wellness in the interview, representing our partnering organization as we work together to empower these incredible women. You can check out the amazing work they do at their website: khethani.org.
